My wife works for a CMM level5 organization.We woke up at 6 AM this morning and things got off to a pretty rough start right away. She asked me "What time is it dear?". I told her it was 5 AM on 5/05/ 2005 - to which she looked terribly worried.
"Why?? What is wrong?"
"You see, yesterday we decided to wake up at 5.30 AM and it is only 5 AM now!!"
"So what?" I asked very innocently.
"What kind of an organization do you work for? Quality is in my blood. People working in a CMM level 5 organization will tell you what implications this can have on our day and our life!!. We need to do a CAUSAL ANALYSIS for this blunder right away".
I tried to take the 'knowledge-free common-sense approach' and told her "The reason is very obvious. Power supply went off by 6 AM and the mosquitoes and the Chennai heat / moisture woke us up.. hee.. hee"
"Shut up" she said. "You people are always looking for an excuse, putting the blame on others. Why don't you take some OWNERSHIP and do something about it? OK. The power went off. Did you at least call the electricity board?"
Before I could ask what she had done about it, she shot off to the kitchen to make coffee. I went in to the kitchen with a request "Dear, I know we had decided that today was my turn to cook, but my bike has not been washed for the last 2 weeks as I was busy entertaining guests for the marriage.
Can you please cook today as I get my bike cleaned?". She gave a very considerate _expression and said "No probs! Just raise a CHANGE REQUEST in the IHMS and carry on".
"IHMS?? What IHMS ?" I asked. "Oh! You do not know this stuff. I have to teach you everything ... People working in our organization use an 'Integrated Home Management System' to organize our personal lives. You can see it in the PC in the living room. It is pretty straight forward. Even YOU can use it?
BTW, it is even web enabled and you can do this work from your office too".
I had had enough. I simply did what she said without uttering a word. As I sat to have breakfast, she brought some Idly with all the love in the world. I was pleased. "My marriage will not break after all" I thought to myself as I tasted it ... and.. it tasted terrible. I almost broke my teeth trying to take a bite... and asked her "You call this Idly?"
She put this 'I know it all' look and said "I know you people raise such issues. That is why I have a DOCUMENTED PROCEDURE to make idlys. Look .. it has even been reviewed and approved by YOUR Mom... and I have once again documented everything I did this morning... even the quantity of salt I added.. can you find anything wrong with this?" she asked... showing off all her documentation.
"I certainly cannot find anything wrong with your documentation, but can find a lot wrongs in the Idly you have made" I thought to myself and headed for work.
Hardly had I switched on my machine at work when I had to pick up the phone. "I am your wife calling and I have some big news for you". 'Not again' I thought.
"CMM people have come up with a new level. It is called level 6. Our company is planning to be level 6 certified by 06/06/2006. How great .....right??"
"Look my dear wife!" I told her. "I have news for you too. RMG has allocated me to an undisclosed project in an undisclosed location for .....err... indefinite duration..!"
"What??..."
"The only information I could gather was that I have to travel ALONE.."
